Romanian version, here.
Life is a permanent journey among and with people. There are connections that endure over time, and others that end suddenly, although they seemed promising. Generally, people spend some time together because they have common interests and they like the same things. Then one of them may leave. No matter the mood it leaves behind, any leaving has a reason. And, however hard it may be to accept it, we should do it without clinging to supplications and discussions that eat us from the inside. When someone decides to leave our entourage, it means they made the decision a while before they let us know. In other words, the settings are already done and any attempt to change them is useless. The dependence created throughout the relationship makes it even harder to detach. But sometimes people who left at some point may return into our lives later on. The power of acceptance and the degree of forgetting unpleasant memories dictate if we take someone back or not. And sometimes when we leave, we want to go back, because what we chose does not match our expectations.
The difficult decision is whether to give a chance or not. And how many chances we can give someone. In our subconscious, we give ourselves chances and we filter the decision through our own emotions. It is very important to see how hurt we still are, as scarring is what dictates our mood in such situations. We often take someone back only to satisfy our pride or because we are still desperate. We may forget what is good for us and we compare everything to the story in our past. But we were different back then. The decision to give a chance should only be made in the present and looking to the future.
Of course, giving someone a chance also means forgiving, but it does not include taking them back on the same position in our current life. Reconciliation occurs for clarifications and closure. Every spot that we give to those we come into contact with should be assessed in relation only to ourselves. What we have in common, what common goals we have, if everything is more positive. The relational balance should also include the negative aspects, as well, because we all have our faults. We should see what we are ready to accept or not. Great imbalances occur in communication, when values do not match. If to me, career is important, and my partner prefers going to the theatre, then leisure time will not have the same meaning. When they meet, people do so because they have a single goal: that of having a good time. When we are willing to give someone a chance, we should first think about how comfortable intimacy with them is, because nothing of what has been can be rebuilt identically. It would be recommended to start a new construction, as it is during this process that we can figure out the spot we can give to the one who returns into our life. Any human connection is a chance, it is only up to us how we manage it and under what conditions. The first condition is to be able to let go of the old problem, so as to not let ourselves be influenced, and to consider the consequences. We cannot live in the present by entering through the door of the past.